(Las Vegas, NV) As we wander back toward the land of living cheaply, from the land of living large, one of our “experiences” was to take in a semi-famous Las Vegas buffet, Not the one as Caesar’s which will put something like 514 items on their spread starting mid-September, but one of the other strip hotels.
Being a scheduling freak, I insisted that we time our arrival in line for 10:55 AM, just before the changeover from breakfast to lunch. That way, I figured we could catch a little this, a little that, and a fine time would be had by all.
Well, not quite.
What I hadn’t counted on was how slowly the line (about 250 people when we showed up) would be moving. In fact, it took fully an hour and fifteen minutes to go through the line and it damn near drove me nuts. To put it simply: I hate lines.
I can’t think of a bigger waste of time, in fact, that standing in a line. Downright dangerous to one’s health, too, since I remember standing in lines at football games (before I figured out what a waste and scam sports was) and thinking to myself “Am I ever going to make it in time?”
While I stood there, Elaine was doing a great job of keeping me calm. “What is it about lines that you don’t like?” she inquired. Well, everything. But people who break “line laws” are what set me off, mostly.
Amazingly, people in the casino industry as bright as they are on figuring out odds on something as subtle as craps, have been unable to fathom the relationship between line-standing and casino revenue.
Here’s a hint: 250 people standing in line for one hour is 250-hours per person of doing “something else” time that is being wasted. Could be money at the craps table, could be dough into the slots (a lost cause, I know) or, they could be shopping and dropping dough that way.
So the very first line law I’d propose is that henceforth “No line shall require a waste of more than five minutes standing around time.”
This needs to be a federal law. It would singlehandedly reduce America’s unemployment by at least a percentage point in no time at all since a) people not standing in line can work, spend and play (for the dunderheads in Washington this is economic activity) and since increasing throughput of lines would require more people to be hired, to cashier, and so forth, here comes instant job creation.
Better? Because the buffet at this particular hotel seems to jam up (super full) my proposed federal line law would also spur a huge amount of additional construction. More cashier booths, more movie screens, more buffet space, and so on.
Supermarkets would put on additional part time workers for rush hours, and maybe additional check out stands to comply. And, since none of us old farts can make ends meet on fixed social security payments, maybe these “peak jobs” to comply with the line law could be set aside for seniors and veterans…people who have a hell of a time making ends meet, particularly returning forces who need to work more than one job in order to get a family going, and things like that.
Only one other provision in the line law: There needs to be government “line marshals” to ensure that “No cut-sees” are taking place. A couple of ways this works:
In our first example, one Asian tour person with a tour group stands in line. Magically, just as the line place holder gets to the last possible place to jump the rope here come 28 other people who are on the same tour and they get in line. Piss me off? Yah think?
Of course, then there are the “family” place holders. They are the ones who send a kid in to stand in line, them mom shows up, and next thing you know 9 people have cut in line in front of you.
This is all spelled out in a subdivision of math called “queueing theory.”
If there is one defining difference between otherwise supposedly equal Americans, it’s how corporations that run football, baseball, and all other sports, plus shopping empires and Vegas buffets differentiate Americans based on income.
“Are you a member of our VIP Players club?” I was asked when I inquired about the no-line option.
“How much action do you figure you’re losing with me wasting time in this stupid line?” was my reply.
Lines to check in, lines to check out, lines for the buffet, lines for the cafe, lines at the bar, lines to….well, let’s put it this way: “Will George & Elaine be back to Lost Wages any time soon?”
No. That’s my bottom line.
Leaving Las Vegas
And on that note, a short report this morning as we head for the airport and departure back toward Texas. Stopping in the “hot zone” down in Phoenix. Record temps expected there.
More tomorrow for Peoplenomics readers, including some work on the Consumer Debt report from the Fed this afternoon. And in Saturday’s Peoplenomics, another Depression marker shows up.
Otherwise, see you Thursday morning…
Write when you break even…
George Ure (email comments to george@ure.net)
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August 4, 2012
A Branding “Self-Assessment”
(Modesto, CA) The role of Peoplenomics is to help people think differently. Getting out of the “workin’ for dah man” kind of mindset and rediscovering the joy (and fear) that comes from owning whatever happens in your life outright. Along the way, a million little tripwires crop up – placed there by those who would own your mind by filling it full of “needs” that aren’t really needs at all but are just clever ways to fatten their incomes and increase pressure in your life to behave this way, or that. Naturally, before we wander into such an emotionally charged discussion, a bit of warm-up on some of the morning’s headlines is in order.
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